Wave Pools Suck
So let’s agree right now that 6, 5-8 foot waves per minute that break for 70 to 100 yards in salt water is not a wave pool. Kerry Black has designed a versatile reef he can change on a whim to resemble any of the long list of breaks he has collected precise bathometric data on. Want to surf Chopes? It’s scheduled for May 13th to May 21st 2007. JBay breaks the next week and the week after that The WEDGE comes to Orlando, Florida for 7 days of body whomping, spectated fun. Notice: That schedule is total fiction.
The operators of Ron John’s Surfpark have the ability to make changes to the reef during your session. Imagine a group of ‘locals’ start with a perfectly imperfect rendition of an Uppers right. They shout out instructions to raise a specific panel in the wave pool ‘reef’ 18 inches. This change causes an early section that can crumble on you to jack up, offering a backdoor to the green clear room. A few waves later, everyone in the linup agrees the wave should be tweeked it to present a smackable lip before the tube, which now spits the rider out into a steep, boostable wall. After the session the operator clicks SAVE, and a new wave is born.
With all this potential though, the Surfpark will be missing many of the things that make a less perfect break a classic wave. Sea life will be replaced by screaming kids who’ve dropped their ice cream. There will be no tricky cliff access to navigate, or coral reef underfoot waiting to punish your mistakes. There will be no paddle out (you’ll just jump in) and the lineup will drop it’s UP. It is entirely possible that Shea Lopez will be stuck waiting in line behind you, if he is so inclined to jump in during a regular session. The view out of the best barrell of your life won’t be a Tahitian mountain peak, it’ll be of the surf mom’s in the bleachers directly infront of you.
Perhaps most artificial though, is that no grom waiting on a set will ever wander who first surfed the wave. The photo behind the cash register will be Kerry Black deep in the wave’s first tube.
Lots more at surfparks.com and wired.com


