The Invasion From Planet C is aptly named. It’s a C grade movie, with C grade acting and I loved every minute of it. Never-mind that some of the acting is painful (though not as painful as any line delivered in Campaign 2) and that you have a few friends that longboard with similar abilities as the two aliens in question. Surfing and acting isn’t the point of this groundbreaking film.

The point is to subversively release a message to the surfing public. The message? Surfing wasn’t started by the Polynesians, Hawaiians or the Peruvians. Surfing was brought to earth by aliens through the intergalactic mining of stoke. Rather than choosing a preachy docudrama format, the filmmakers have slyly chosen get their message out through the “fictitious” story of Gnar Gnar and Casanova. These two aliens arrive on earth in an effort to save Planet C from a devastating lack of stoke, by mining it on Earth with 10 foot stoke collection pods.

Finally, thanks to this film, we have an explanation for the existence of tow surfing, the riding of air filled matts, standup paddle surfing and Laird Hamilton. Its all about stoke mining! If you were to edit out the carefully crafted camouflage of C grade overdubs, laser beams, immaculately costumed aliens, intricate spaceship sets and killer action graphics, Invasion is at heart, a documentary.

The biggest camouflage of all, though is the stoke mining of some fun looking waves. The highlight of which, is definitely Gnar Gnar’s cutback. It’s the kind of cutback a bastard child of Tom Wegener and Mothra would wield and at times, is the most stylish green blooded redirect on the planet.

Planet C’s surfing, props, fart jokes and the XXXXXX that comes out of Gnar Gnar’s XXXXXX during XXXXXXX was almost enough to make me forget the severity of the alien insurrection the movie brings to light. Thank Uncle Bork that I have a keen eye for history lessons dire warnings of impending doom masquerading as entertainment. It’s your duty as a human surfer to see this movie as soon as you can, if for no other reason than to prepare yourself for the full onslaught of the coming alien stoke miner invasion.